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Surviving retirement with your husband #2

 

I have friends who complain about their husbands sitting around and not helping with the chores and also the difficulties of living virtually on top of each other. My husband retired a few months after me, but once he had retired we had a discussion about the fair division of chores. We wash dishes and make the bed together. He enjoys cooking and also discovered a love of baking, so he cooks dinner and bakes every week. I dust and polish, and clean the bathroom, he vacuums. I do the supermarket shopping and absolutely refuse to take him with me. It takes twice as long and costs twice as much! He is happy to put the groceries away once I get home. Although washing clothes is my responsibility, he will happily bring it in off the line if I am out. He manages the lawns even with his painful knee. He organises the vegetable garden, I sort out the flower garden. Unfortunately, I still do the ironing—a chore that I really do not like very much! But I do iron less than I used to and he will happily wear un-ironed shirts around home.

Communication is the key, and hopefully an understanding husband! There are definitely times I have to bite my tongue but let’s face it, this life is never going to be perfect. I’m sure he has to bite his tongue over me at times. It is amazing how much time and energy we can all spend arguing over things that ultimately are simply not important. I don’t want to live with regret over things that never needed to be said.

If my hubby says something hurtful in the heat of the moment, I work very hard at not saying anything back. I wait until we have both calmed down then will go back to him and say something like, “when you said …. It really hurt my feelings so I’m feeling sad right now.” He nearly always apologises and we make up. Does that mean we never argue? No, but generally we have learned to communicate well and in a healthy matter so we actually relish each other’s company. So having some independent activities and having good communication makes it so much easier when the time comes to retire and spend more time together. There are so many benefits so make the most of it and enjoy.

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